The road to recovery for codependency can be one that is froth with stops and starts. Being codependent is more than just a behavior. It becomes a part of your personality. It is not easy to make the changes that are required and it takes a true commitment to oneself and to change.
Codependency is usually prevalent in the cycle of addiction. The addict and the codependent person feed off of each other’s energy. The addict uses the codependent person to help them cover up their lifestyle and the codependent person gets a feeling of validation from the addict.
When your life and your very essence is only purposeful to you because you are taking care of the addicts life by enabling the lifestyle it can be very difficult to make the changes and to find something new to give you purpose. Recovery from codependency is like having the fog lift on your life. You will no longer put your own personal happiness at risk or tie it to someone else.
While complete recovery is possible the reality is it takes time. A lot of people struggle with the amount of time and effort that is required to put into the recovery. They want to feel well as soon as they decide that they are going to change their life.
Unfortunately while the desire to make the change is important it is not enough. You have to have the desire to change your life to implement the steps you need to take but the desire is not enough to take care of all the steps. There is still plenty of work ahead.
The first step of the recovery is the desire to change. The next step is getting help. This can be the hardest step. It can be very difficult to seek out help because you have to admit to an outsider exactly what has been going on.
Hearing yourself say it out loud can actually be very shocking to your own system. When we are codependent we just go through the motions we never really stop to think exactly how appalling those motions are. When you have to admit it to someone out loud it can sound really awful to your own ears so prepare yourself before your first appointment.
Once you get the denial out of the way and look at the facts for the facts than you can start the healing process.
Recovering from codependency is different for everyone. Your treatment plan may include therapy, medications or a combination of both. The treatment may require that the whole family gets involved. You may have to admit to yourself and other family members that you are part of the part of the problem.
The treatment may even be harsh at times because revealing yourself and having to deal with your own demons is never easy BUT it is always worth it. If you want to live a life free of guilt and you want to live a life by design than treatment is a necessary step in the process.
How Long Does It Take?
A lot of people that are in recovery from codependency want to know how long does it take to be completely rid of codependency. The answer is codependency is a lot like alcoholism in that you have to constantly be on the lookout for potential situations that will suck you back into the same old dance. Codependency is a dance. Your partner is the person that has the problems but you are a willing partner to those problems.
There is always a risk of falling back into the same dance moves with a different partner so you have to always be on the lookout.
Full recovery is always possible but the time varies for each person. It may take you one year and it may take someone else 20 with several similar relationships under their belt. There are quite a few things that effect the success rates none larger than your own personal commitment to change.
A strong support system and a therapist that you are comfortable with are also important factors in your success and the amount of time it will take you to feel successful. You are the best judge of your own success in this matter.
You will know when you are completely recovering from your codependency issues. Once you are past the stages of codependency you will be able to look back and simply be amazed that person was ever who you were.
You will feel lighter, free and more confident. You will feel the stress melt away and generally be in a much better position in life to live your life by design and not be at the mercy of other people.