Whether it is the workplace, at home, or indeed, in any aspect of your life, the narcissist is a dangerous component to allow into your life. Unfortunately, because many narcissists also possess a measure of charm and confidence, it is certainly forgivable to suddenly find yourself with one.
Are You Dealing With A Narcissist?
If you do have to deal with a narcissist at work, at home, or in any other aspect of your life, don’t beat yourself out. Don’t feel like a victim. It can happen to virtually anyone. The important thing to do now is to make absolutely certain that you are dealing with a narcissist.
When you understand the definition of a narcissist, and you can find examples of that behavior in the person you are concerned about, you can begin to dismantle the problem. You can learn how to outsmart a narcissist.
Some people believe that you can’t outsmart a narcissist, and then eliminate them from your life. This might be true, but it’s far more likely that you can than you probably think. It begins by believing that this person is a poisonous influence on your life and/or career, then resolving to research the possibility of narcissism, and finally, outsmarting them.
The Definition Of Narcissism
There are several different degrees of narcissism. Some of it is even considered to be healthy, since it is naturally important for all us to have a certain measure of confidence in ourselves and in our abilities. There is nothing unhealthy about believing that you are a good person who is worthy of good things.
However, when that belief begins to destroy relationships, with no apparent concern on the part of the individual, it is no longer a matter of self-confidence. A narcissist is someone who is defined as having a sense of vanity, or a desire for wealth, power, and prestige, at the expense of everything that gets in the way of obtaining those things. A narcissist will use people, lie to people, and will not be particularly concerned about the destruction their words and actions have on others. Some narcissists respond to being called out on their behavior with anger. Others respond with levels of psychological and physical abuse that can truly horrify. A narcissist will try to deflect. A narcissist will refuse to admit that they have done anything wrong. They will make excuses. They will blame others.
They will respond to even the slightest criticism with anger, or something much worse than that.
Does any of this sound applicable to the person you’re concerned about? If you learn the definition of a narcissist, and you see one red flag after another, then it’s time to do something about that.
Outsmarting A Narcissist
Once you understand what a narcissist is, and you have resolved to do something about the problem, you can begin to make some positive, significant changes to your life. It can be highly difficult to distance ourselves from a narcissist. In some circumstances, doing so can be downright deadly. If you believe that you are in that position, then you are going to want to seek out organizations in your area that can give you the emotional and physical support necessary to break from that situation.
If you are simply trying to deal with a non-threatening narcissist who is nonetheless a very destructive force in your life, you essentially have two options.
Your first choice is to simply break away from the individual. You’re not going to say goodbye. You’re not going to explain yourself. In short, you will do nothing that will give the individual an opportunity to “win you back” to their side. You’re essentially taking the path of least resistance.
Unfortunately, this is not the easiest thing in the world for some people. You may find it difficult, or even impossible, to eliminate the narcissist from your life forever. Study and consider your situation very carefully, and decide for yourself if this a realistic venture, or if you need to take things to such a point.
If you can’t, or you don’t feel that it’s necessary to go that far, you can still choose to outsmart the narcissist. As you’re going to discover, accomplishing this is much easier than you might have previously thought.
You don’t have to be smarter than the person you’re trying to outsmart. All you really have to do is embarrass them. The more people around for this embarrassment, the better. Narcissists love to lie, and they love to bend reality to suit their perspective. Simply call them on their lies. Tell them the reality of the situation, in terms of how it conflicts with what they believe to be true. Do this over and over again. Do this every single time they open their mouths. If you’re out in public, you can really drive home your point.