Narcissism is a personality disorder that stems from a person’s psyche. Narcissism cannot be imbibed or induced. It is self developed. There are many reasons why a person may grow up to become a narcissist, in which dysfunctional families and several psychological factors play an integral role.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging and often unrewarding. Psychologists claim that a romantic relationship with a narcissist is actually based on a lie. A narcissist is a self absorbed person and he or she is incapable of loving someone truly because they are actually in love with their own selves. There is nothing and no one more important than them and thus a narcissist will always remain aloof from the emotional investment that the other person may indulge in. While there can be various types of relationships with a narcissist; a person may have a narcissistic boss, a narcissistic friend or coworker, it is the narcissistic partner that causes the most painstaking trauma.
A narcissist has several tactics which he or she uses to control the person they are in a relationship with and they also invest their strategies to control the relationship itself. A narcissist is incapable of allowing himself or herself to go on a freewheeling ride where things are not under their control but that of life’s circumstances, which are a consequence of both people involved and fate. A narcissist will always try to be the rewarded individual and it is only their interests, wants and situations that matter.
What Is The Narcissistic Silent Treatment?
When a narcissist feels that his or her importance is being diluted, their control is being challenged or they are not being the most rewarded one in the relationship, they will unleash a barrage of various ways to make the other person feel insignificant. One of the most common ways to do so is to bring in the silent treatment.
The silent treatment of a narcissist is almost like a self defense mechanism. When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they don’t want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps.
The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup. The narcissist will stop talking to the person, will not take their calls, not respond to the texts and if one is living in with the narcissist then there would be a cold shoulder at all times. There will be no confrontation, no emotional engagement or physical intimacy and the narcissist will actually behave in a manner that the other person doesn’t even exist in his or her life. This silent treatment can be harrowing and painful for the person being abused. Silent treatment is actually classified as a common form of emotional abuse, most likely to be deployed by a narcissist.
It has been observed in most cases that the silent treatment is meted out to a victim when there is actually no fault on his or her part. It is purely the narcissist’s perspective and how they perceive a situation. If a person draws a certain line in a relationship that is not acceptable to the narcissist but is very rational, even then the silent treatment may be meted out. It may seem weird but even if the narcissist is at fault and has been confronted for the same, the silent treatment may be imposed for the victim to feel reprimanded or uncomfortable as a form of punishment.
How To Deal With The Narcissistic Silent Treatment?
The narcissistic silent treatment is very difficult to bear, especially in relationships that are relatively old or have progressed through the initial phases of dating. Unfortunately, it is difficult to counter the silent treatment without opting for intervention for the narcissist in the first place. If the problem is not cured at the root then the symptom of the silent treatment cannot be done away with. Since the silent treatment is already imposed, it is unlikely that the victim will be able to convince the narcissist to opt for therapy or at least a consultation with a psychiatrist.
As the only option, the victim should walk out of the relationship or take some measures which can break the narcissistic silent treatment. All people have weaknesses and so do narcissists. If a victim or abused person is aware of such weaknesses then those can be explored and used to break the silent treatment but else, coaxing or urging, requesting or even pleading apologetically will not help. Begging for forgiveness will feed the ego of the narcissist and will stop the silent treatment but that is the worst way of achieving an end to the conflict.
The rational option is to walk out of the relationship.