A codependent relationship that is unhealthy should be ended. Either there should be an end to the unhealthy codependency or the relationship should be ended. At times, ending codependency is not possible in which case ending the relationship entirely is the only choice. If codependency can be ended without ending the relationship, then that can be the way out.
Before anyone thinks of ending a codependent relationship, one needs to understand if the codependency is healthy or unhealthy. Not all forms of codependency pertain to alcohol abuse or substance abuse, narcissism or other problems. When a relationship has one person making all the sacrifices and enabling all the vices just to remain relevant and needed in the relationship, then it is an unhealthy codependent relationship. If codependency pertains to emotional aspects or that of love without any vices, then such codependency is not bad.
The first phase of ending a codependent relationship is acknowledging the reality and being willing to consider the solutions.
Giving Importance To Oneself
Many people live in denial or don’t wish to acknowledge that they have a codependent relationship. Such relationships don’t just happen between married couples or people who are into a romantic relationship. Such codependency may be found between parents and their children, among friends, colleagues and even in social circles. One of the primary causes of a codependent relationship is the compromising or sacrificing person not considering himself or herself to be important. In the attempt to please the other person or people, to remain relevant and to see oneself through their eyes, the person loses all importance and becomes someone who he or she is not.
It is necessary to feel important and one must prioritize that if a codependent relationship has to be ended.
Harnessing The Willpower
When a person has lived a certain life in a certain way for a long time, it becomes really difficult to make drastic changes. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship one is in and what kind of life, prosperous or not, one leads or has led. All that matters is being accustomed with a certain world and a certain way of living. The hardest challenge that anyone will face while ending a codependent relationship is to agree to take the step forward, away from the vicious codependency. Once the willpower has been harnessed, then ending a codependent relationship is only a matter of time and some efforts. It can be done without many troubles and with relative ease.
Knowing Where To Head
Once the unhealthy codependent relationship has been acknowledged and the willpower has been harnessed to take the plunge, what becomes important is awareness, a sense of knowing where one is headed. If there is no purpose, if one has not found a destination or doesn’t know what to do next, then the void that will be created after ending a codependent relationship may cause troubles. There will be a psychological impact, financial repercussions if one is not economically self-reliant and there can be serious emotional upheavals. Having a purpose, a destination or being capable of living a life alone or without the person with whom the codependent relationship existed are keys to actually ending a codependent relationship.
Fuel Positivity & Don’t Look Back
Even after ending a codependent relationship, there are chances of indulging in one again. When a person has a history of being codependent, there is always a risk that the person would end up in another codependent relationship. It may so happen that the same relationship will be revived. The other person in the erstwhile relationship will certainly make attempts and put in efforts to salvage the situation. If one is not stubborn enough to avoid considering looking back or going back, then completely ending a codependent relationship can be quite difficult.
Since a codependent person is not stubborn by nature, else the codependency would not have stemmed in the first place, one has to develop positivity. Having confidence in oneself, loving oneself, looking at the brighter realities and moving ahead with optimism and a sense of accomplishment is necessary to successfully ending a codependent relationship.
Have Company, Not Codependency
Loneliness or seclusion can be disastrous while ending a codependent relationship. A codependent person always tries to look at himself or herself through the prism of perception of others. If in such a stage, a person becomes lonely or doesn’t have company, the codependency will appear to be desirable. That makes company extremely necessary. For people who are actually alone in life, a psychologist or support groups can help in such situations but ideally, one should have a friend, a family member or relative, someone who is trustworthy and not codependent to help in the entire process of ending a codependent relationship.