With the briefest of conversations, daughters of narcissistic fathers can easily sense one another. There is a secret pain that all daughters of such fathers carry with them. There are certain experiences that certainly qualify as shared experiences.
Daughters of narcissistic fathers have a number of unhappy things in common with one another.
The Children Of Narcissistic Parents
Whether the dynamic is father-daughter, mother-son, son-father, or daughter-mother, the damage narcissistic can wreck on their children is considerable. Even if you have a reasonably good relationship with your parent, that doesn’t mean they weren’t a narcissist when you were growing up. In all probability, they are probably still a narcissist to this day.
If you are the daughter of a narcissistic father, then it stands to reason that you know the behaviors and traits of a narcissistic parent. You may not have spotted these things during your formative years. However, as you learned the various ways in which to define a narcissist, you learned that many of those characteristics could be applied to your father with tragic ease.
And if you are perhaps wondering if you are really the daughter of a narcissistic father, there are a few things you’re going to want to look for. These things can be found in your current dealings with your father, and they can certainly be found in examples from your youth, if you’re willing to delve into those memories.
Do You Have A Narcissistic Father?
The daughters of narcissistic fathers can relate to one another in a variety of ways. They can cite clear examples from their childhood. If their father is still living, and if they are still interacting with them, they can probably cite clear examples in the present.
If you are still on the fence as to whether or not you are the daughter of a narcissistic father, here are a few important questions that are worth asking yourself:
1. Was your father self-centered? Did he always have to be the center of attention?
2. Was your father particularly vain? While vanity can certainly involve an individual’s physical appearance, this is not the only way in which someone can be vain. There is intellectual vanity, for example.
3. Was your father known to use people to achieve his goals? Was it a regular occurrence with your father to throw people aside, after he had finished with them?
4. Was your father someone who was not particularly adept at taking criticism from others?
5. How did your father react to those criticisms? Did he respond with anger? How much anger? Did he ever become verbally or even physically abusive?
6. Do you remember your father’s anger as being something that you were truly afraid of? Were there things you went out of your way to do, in order to avoid dealing with that anger?
7. Was your father unsympathetic towards others? Even people he supposedly cared about?
8. Did you ever feel as though your father only gave you emotional and/or physical affection when it was in his best interests to do so?
9. Was your father someone who constantly maintained unrealistic aspirations?
10. Did your father lie, in order to get what he wanted from others?
11. When he was caught lying, did he seem to be particularly remorseful about it?
12. Did he ever at any time make a serious effort towards changing any of these behaviors?
Keep in mind that if you want to know in the present if you are currently dealing with a narcissistic father, that you can still ask all of the questions mentioned above. You’re just naturally going to want to re-frame the questions slightly.
You should still keep your childhood experiences and interactions with your father in mind. Doing so will make it that much easier to determine once and for all, if you really are the daughter of a narcissistic father.
The Daughter Of A Narcissistic Father
If you are the daughter of a narcissistic father, then here are a few additional things that you want to keep in mind:
1. As the daughter of a narcissistic father, you will probably be able to recall a number of instances in which your father criticized you in highly damaging ways. These ways could have involved your weight, anything else to do with your body, your grades, and more.
2. You probably have a deep-rooted fear of being left by your current partner, because you do not believe you are someone who is deserving of love and affection. One of the primary reasons behind these feelings can involve your long history with your narcissistic father.
3. You may feel as though nothing you ever do is good enough. This draws from the feelings of intense inadequacy mentioned above. Even if someone tells you that what you do is good enough, you may not believe them, because you do not have the fundamental tools necessary to accept compliments and gratitude from others.