An emotionally abusive relationship is not just undesirable but it is also unhealthy and has far-reaching consequences. Physical abuse has an impact that is almost unforgettable and although the apparent wounds may heal, the mind or the psyche of a person is scarred forever. Emotional abuse is not as obvious or apparent as physical abuse but it can have a greater impact on the psyche of a person. An emotionally abused person may not be able to feel or act normally ever in his or her life. Since emotional abuse is not that apparent, it is harder to identify and more challenging to recover from.
Recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship is hard but it can be done. The beginning of recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship is confrontation or ending the relationship completely.
1. First, one should consider the option of reconciling or salvaging the relationship. This will require confrontation. Often, confrontations don’t yield anything since the abuser will rarely acknowledge his or her fault. As a direct consequence, there would be little or nothing to save or salvage. Ending a relationship would become the only option in such circumstances. But in some cases, the abuser does realize and also acknowledges his or her fault and tries to make amends. In such situations, it is always fair to try and recover from the abuse while being in the relationship.
2. The first step to recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship is to prioritizing one’s own emotions. When there is emotional abuse, the victim is not important at all, his or her emotional needs or other needs are not significant and they are not attended to. Instead, the victim is taken for granted, abused in many ways and made to feel miserable on innumerable instances. Thus, one must prioritize his or her own emotions. The moment that is done, one would feel important and will start attending to his or her needs. It is not necessary that the victim be dependent on the abuser for emotional satiation. One should seek emotional support from friends, family, relatives or that one special person who would respect the emotional needs and also attended to them.
3. While prioritizing emotions is important to recover after emotional abuse, it is also necessary to not give emotions that much significance. One’s own emotions should be prioritized but emotion itself should not be made paramount. The moment one starts to give the maximum importance to emotions, one would again become vulnerable to emotional abuse. It is good to stay emotionally immune for some time, especially during the recovery period. Focusing on other things in life, having fun, remaining distracted from commitments or dependence on people would be a good thing. One should always have some loved ones around but one should not be at the disposal of others. The lack of complete emotional dependence or any other type of reliance will help a person to recover from an emotionally abusive relationship.
4. It is imperative to not make oneself emotionally vulnerable during the recovery process. And that can be achieved by being selective about friends. Most people, especially those who are being emotionally abused, have a tendency to either remain completely shut off from the world or they open up to a casual friend, neighbor, family member or to someone. This disclosure to the other person must be well thought out. Speaking about emotional abuse to just about anyone or to several people will not make one feel any better. It would instead make one more vulnerable and shall pave the ways for emotional abuse in the future. There is no guarantee that the person with whom the account of the abuse is being shared would not turn around and take advantage of the situation and in turn become an abuser as well. One should be very choosy about friends, coworkers with whom a lot is shared and one must also spend time with people who genuinely care and are not just casual acquaintances.
5. Emotional security and satiation is very hard to get. It takes time to develop relationships where a person would care for another’s emotions. Thus, it is necessary to remain aloof from commitments during the recovery from an emotionally abusive relationship. Making random or wrong choices during this phase comes naturally to most people. Since a person is likely to crave for some emotional satisfaction and support, it is likely that a person would start dating, seeing someone or may even get committed in a relationship. Investing in new emotions and then having fresh expectations during such times is not a wise or a healthy move. One should be emotionally strong again before making such investments or commitments.
Having a purpose in life, indulging in hobbies, favorite pastimes and prioritizing one’s own needs are the secrets to recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship.