Are you dealing with codependency in some form or fashion? Before you decide, it’s definitely a smart idea to understand the symptoms of the condition. Whether you’re wondering if you are dealing with a codependent, or if you are concerned that you yourself are a codependent, the last thing you want to do is jump to conclusions.
Co-dependency is a serious condition. As such, it deserves to be taken seriously.
Symptoms Of Codependency
The symptoms of codependency are numerous. Certain symptoms on their own, which is to say symptoms that are not joined by several other symptoms, do not automatically indicate that a person has a tendency towards codependent relationships. It’s also important to understand that there is nothing inherently unhealthy in relying on friends and loved ones from time to time.
However, there are a number of red flags that can strongly suggest a codependent personality type, when they are all considered together:
1. Extremely low self-esteem
Even if someone seems like they have a great deal of confidence, that doesn’t mean they actually do. One of the foundations of a codependent personality is a mindset that forever feels as though they are never good enough, worthy enough.
2. Extreme people-pleasing tendencies
There is nothing wrong with wanting to make someone you care about happy. Being the kind of person who feels incredibly anxious and unhappy at the mere thought of saying no is much more worrisome.
3. An inability to appreciate boundaries
When it comes to the thoughts and feelings of another, or the thoughts and feelings of they themselves, codependents can have either very tight boundaries, or boundaries that are extremely blurry.
4. An ability to properly react to opposing viewpoints
When you fail to have boundaries, you’re far more likely to take everything people say as a reflection of yourself. In other words, you’re taking everything personally.
5. An inability to care for others without forgetting to take care of yourself
When you are codependent, you tend to see someone’s problems as your problems. You assume their problems, and care very little about what this may do to your emotional and/or physical health.
6. An intense desire for control
Codependents tend to have a strong desire to control as much of their lives as possible. This certainly extends to the people they have codependent relationships with.
7. A fear of telling the truth or showing emotion
Codependents fear truth-telling or emotional expression. They perceive these things to be threats to how people will feel about them.