A relationship is obviously abusive if there is physical aggression involved. It is impossible to argue otherwise that a relationship is not abusive if one person is being physically harmed, assaulted or hurt. But physical assault is not the only form of aggression, violence or abuse. There are various kinds of aggression, violence and abuse. Also, it isn’t necessary that only a romantic relationship would be abusive. Friendships can be abusive, parents can be abusive towards their kids and vice versa, professional relationships may be abusive and even distant familial relationships or social bonds with neighbors can be abusive as well.
Abuse is defined as anything unpleasant being done to a person, which is neither just nor deserving for the person. You should have an abusive relationship checklist to identify the telltale signs.
1. In a healthy relationship, both should be willing to compromise to an extent. If one person is fixated all the time and the other person compromises always, then it is an abusive relationship. This is applicable to every relationship that human beings can have.
2. If there is disrespect, no matter to what extent, then the relationship is abusive. The severity of the abuse will depend on the extent to which one person is being disrespected. It is quite possible that both people disrespect each other and in such a situation both are being abusive.
3. Here are some very common experiences that people have in an abusive relationship. The abused person will feel uncomfortable or would be made to feel uncomfortable about himself or herself. Their self esteem would be severely impaired. There would be consistent blaming and the abusive person will never own up to any wrongdoing. There would be no trust and very little understanding. To make matters worse, the abusive person will expect the abused to take all the steps to understand a situation. An abusive person will always try to control every aspect of the abused person’s life. From being almost dictatorial to threatening of dire consequences, an abusive person can scale extensive depths to keep abusing.
4. There are various forms of abuse: physical, emotional, psychological, financial, behavioral and verbal among others. Calling names, physically hurting, compelling a person to do something against their will, withholding payments or demanding money, behaving rudely or ridiculing a person all the time and meeting out silent treatments, shrugging off the responsibilities, being codependent and not allowing a person to have the right to do anything he or she wants are all telltale signs of an abusive relationship.