People aren’t perfect. We strive towards a general ideal for ourselves, and work to maintain a personal, favorable opinion as well. Sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes we want to hide these mistakes. This is all well and good until we remember that human beings are social in nature. We talk to each other, build long lasting relationships, and share. When people hide things from one another, it is not always for the best reasons, even when it may seem so at the time.
Our bodies reflect our minds. How we hold ourselves, how we present ourselves, and the kind of facial movements we make can speak volumes to how we actually feel. Though we may try to hide our true thoughts and feelings behind body language decoys, we invariably slip. Most of the time the two of you will be unaware of these slips.
If you believe there may be something wrong with a person close to you, then keep your eye on the following body language decoys listed below. In addition, we will briefly describe what decoys are, and why identifying them can be a very important skill.
What Is a Decoy?
Type “body language decoys” into a search engine, and you will see any number of links to bird hunting websites. This is because hunters use fake birds, or decoys to lure actual birds within range. The decoy’s role is to mask the hunters by being a distraction. When it comes to hiding our true feelings, a decoy is what we use to either cover up the emotions or take attention away from them.
Body language decoys with people can take many different forms. They can range from a shift in how someone normally interacts with you, to manifesting as a new, and at times less desirable behavior, (individuals sometimes become alcohols as a way to mask themselves from something to difficult to face.) How body language decoys manifest is entirely up to the individual. Though rare, a very few do not exhibit any signs at all.
Why is Understanding Body Language Decoys Important?
Though a very small number of people do not exhibit body language decoys, the vast majority of people do. This means that if you know what to look for, then you can be significantly more empathic. If something is bothering a person that you care for, you can have a better idea of what is going on with them. If you suspect that something may be going on, then body language decoys will help confirm your suspicions. Either way, calling a person out and using body language decoys as proof that something is going on can lead to a confrontation. Though most individuals attempt to stop conflict from happening, having an argument and exposing whatever is going on is normally the best way to resolve a situation.
What Are Some Body Language Decoys People Use?
Below is a list of some of the more common body language decoys that people use. In addition to listing the decoy, we will cover what the particular decoy may mean in regards to what the other person is holding back.
1. The “Everything Is Ok” Body Language Decoy
When individuals are feeling a deep shame or feeling of failure, they may try to hide it under a decoy appearance of happiness. From having a bad day at work to feeling personally unfulfilled, there are many reasons why someone would pretend to be happy when they are in fact not.
One thing to look for is breathing. How is the person you are talking to breathing? Are their breaths shallow? Are they quick? More often then not, quick breathing suggests anxiety, fear, and issues with self-esteem. In addition to breathing, consider the response the person gives you to questions. Is the response short and to the point? Does it leave little room for further explanation? Chances are, you may be getting the response you want to hear, instead of what may be on the other person’s mind. Finally, look at their body. Are their limbs tense? When the person moves, is the movement stiff? All of these point to possible problems just below the surface.
2. Looking Down and Avoiding Eye Contact
There is a great deal of research behind the importance and significance of eye contact in relationships between people. Our ability to look each other in the eye can convey a wealth of emotions, from trust to possible deceit. The saying “he looked me right in the eye and…” is often used to imply that the person doing the looking was somehow being deceitful and using eye contact as a body language decoy.
When talking with a person, consider how they normally behave. Some people rarely make eye contact while others seem to be always staring. Once you have a base level of what is considered “average” eye contact, pay attention to the person you are talking to. Are they making less eye contact then normal? If so, then they may be feeling guilt or personal shame. As for the exact nature of why they are feeling that way, well you will have to talk to find out.
3. Blinking
Another tell tale sign of body language decoys is blinking. An individual who is hiding something will frequently blink much more then normal. Though this is a good way to see if something is up, it will require a great deal of awareness of what the other person’s “normal level of blinking” is like. As a result, people who try to measure blinking as a sign of body language decoys often have a high number of false positives.
4. Hiding Hands
We express ourselves in a number of interesting ways. Whether it be the way we move our faces or the tone we take, we as people are specially designed to pick up on these things subconsciously. In fact, in cases where people lake these social skills, like as seen within the scale of Autism, communication can be very difficult. Where as we notice things that stand out, we often do not notice things that well hidden. That is why you should be looking at their hands during your next conversation.
Individuals who are hiding something will often also hide their hands. Many times, hiding your hands is seen as a something a person does when they are not being honest. It is one of the many body language decoys subconsciously employed by people to better tell convincing lies. It is important to note that some people will naturally hide their hands when talking. This is why it is important to have a working knowledge of how the person would react. This way, you have a means to test if their behavior now is different.
Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Cigar
Remember, it is possible to see things that are not there, especially if you are adamant that something is going on. Try to be objective and give the other person the benefit of the doubt. If your conversations still leave you with the suspicion that something may be up, then take it from there. Until then, good luck.