Codependent relationships or codependent people are far more common than you would imagine. When codependency was initially developed as a condition or a psychological disorder, it was confined to alcoholics and marital relationships that have one exploited spouse being exploited by the other spouse. Over the last four decades, codependency has spread its wings and has included various forms of exploited and strange relationships. Codependent people live with various problems and disorders without even getting diagnosed and certainly without opting for an intervention to get a way out. From living with abusive spouses to dealing with narcissistic bosses, there is codependency in every nook and corner of the modern society.
Here is a list of some common codependent characteristics that can help you to know if you are codependent or if someone you know or are with is codependent on you.
1. Codependent people have very low self esteem. They would lack confidence, they would have very little purpose of their own and they would consistently underestimate their own potential and also self worth. Undervaluing oneself is the last thing one should do but it is one of the first things that codependent people indulge in. They allow their existence to be defined by the other person in the equation, which at times may be more than one person. A mother may be codependent on her husband and the kids and allow them to define her existence. That may lead the mother to extremes, both emotional and physically toilsome and eventually lead to psychological and physiological health ailments.
2. One of the most common codependent characteristics is the tendency to please others. A codependent person will almost always walk the extra mile and often go out of the way to please the other person and people associated with the other person. In the entire process, nowhere and at no point in time is the codependent person important or in need to be taken care of. This leads to a gradual decline of emotional strength and physical abilities to get rid of the vices that have been instilled in the person’s life.
3. Codependent people are likely to live in denial of the most obvious reality in their lives. They may agree to a lot of things but they will not believe that they are codependent. In a way, they would be obsessed, with codependency itself and with the person on whom one is codependent.